Thursday, July 17, 2008

Do you and your lover seem to having an overall good relationship, except for the fact that they cannot commit?

I have been blogging for seven months, and for those past months I shared my thoughts, views regarding my experiences about relationships. I hope you learned something here.

I have a friend and she ask me where am I in favor. This is the question: "ano mas favor sayo, my commitment pero hindi responsible sayo or wlang commitment pero alam mong mahal ka"

I told her wala. Haha. Parang mali kasi yung tanong?.What kind of responsibilities ba? Is your special someone just doing this reponsibility for love?. This topic is so broad to discuss. I'll just explain the reasons of why people don't want a commitment yet. Pero you should understand na it is part of a relationship, part of loving!.

My friend is in favor on not having a commitment and the important thing for her is knowing that his special someone love's her. However, if there is no commitment, there is no assurance and security. Sino ba naman ang ayaw ng security and assurance sa love diba? pero still it's your choice.


In the first place, we live in a society where all of us have a lot of choices specially when it comes to the matter of choosing a life long partner. We often have true feelings towards our mate but what if he/she does not truly love us? If she/he not commit?.

Is he/she reluctant to commit? - This is the very first question you must consider before trying to do anything or taking your relationship to the next level. You see your mate will be ok to commit at all levels if he/she truly loves you. But if you feel that your mate is having some doubts or is not sure about whether he/she should commit or not then maybe they are not in love with you. Aha! I'm not done yet, below are some of the reasons why your partner can't commit.

Do you and your lover seem to having an overall good relationship, except for the fact that they cannot commit?

Being with a person who avoids commitment is not easy and sometimes can never be changed. There are many people who feel responsible or find ways to blame themselves for their partner not wanting to commit to them. Are you questioning yourself, believing that it is possible that it is something you are doing that is keeping you from getting the commitment you want? It could be, but 9/10 of the times, it is not.

So if it is not you and you and your lover are having a good relationship, then why does he or she not want to fully commit to you? The truth is, there could be a various amount of answers to that question, for it is different for everyone. However, there are common reasons why many people choose not to commit, and that main reason is fear. It could very well be that your partner never really experienced a fully committed relationship, or perhaps they had a particular experience in a past relationship that now has him or her afraid to approach another commitment. There could be deeper reasons, but these are the most common. Another reason many men and women fear commitment is because they are convinced that if they give their lover a full commitment, they will suddenly have their freedom taken away from them, disallowing them to be their true selves or doing the things they like to do and plan to do in the future.

Can you help improve this situation and get your lover to finally commit to you? Yes, there are ways you and your partner can work together in reaching this goal of commitment, but is not something you can achieve all on your own. The best thing you can do if you are involved with someone who cannot commit is to have a talk with him or her about it and ask him or her what exactly is making him or her doubt commitment so much. The next best thing you can do is be patient and give your lover the re-assurance that they are free to be whoever they want to be and that they can continue to do the things they like to do, and continue to plan the plans they have for their personal self. If they still avoid commitment after a while, then perhaps you should go to couple’s counseling, or ask yourself just how long you are willing to wait for you lover to pop the big question of commitment!



3 comments:

  1. In every kind of relationship we must know our obligations and responsibilities with each other.Having a commitment is also important but we must know first the reason why we have to commit.Do we need to commit just to have an assurance or the security that your love towards each other will last long and nobody can get you apart? Or do you commit yourself on your own willingness and not because you need to?
    In my point of view, mas masarap yung kahit hndi kayo formally committed eh mararamdaman mo na mahal at mahalaga ka and ginagawa nya at ibinibigay ang mga bagay na inilalaan nya syo , its not because kailangan lang dahil committed kyo kundi dahil yung ang gusto nyang ipakita kahit wla kayong committment sa isa't-isa.
    Sabi nga wat's the best thing?
    Yung di sinasabi pero nararamdaman,
    Yung walang singsing pero kuntento,
    Yung walang sumpaan pero wlang iwanan,At
    Yung wlang titulo pero alam mong iyo?

    There are lot of things that you have to consider of having a committment..if your ready enough and kaya mong tangapin lahat what ever happens..for me hndi mo kailangan ng tatawaging gf or a bf, but rather you need a lifetime partner that will serves you as your bestfriend,ur diary and companion for the rest of your life. If your not getting any younger like me,(oi umamin nko ha, im 27 actually)hndi na natin kailangan ng basta bf or gf, we must stand for finding or waiting for the ryt person, hndi yung konting away break na and end of your happy moments.at least if your still waiting for the ryt time,expect for more exciting moments and getting into a higher level of love.

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  2. pre suggest lang... panoorin nyo ung "when love begins".... ayos yun!

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  3. Haha. Thanks for the wonderful comment.I appreciated it. I understand your side. Furthermore, I am very sure that you had the most tragic, shocking experience about committing in the past. I can feel the burden of words on your comment.

    Although I'm in your situation also. However, commitment is a huge factor in a relationship when we say commitment it is the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.

    Do we need to commit just to have an assurance or the security that your love towards each other will last long and nobody can get you apart?
    ->Yes, Sino ba naman ang taong gustong maghintay sa wala? diba?. Ano yun basta ramdam nyo nalang na mahal nyo ang isa't isa okay na yun?. You have no assurance. Hindi naman sa sinasabi ko na porke may commitment eh hindi na kau maghihiwalay. My point is commitment is a part of loving it is a must in order for both partners to get steady, work it out, at higit sa lahat dito na papasok ang 'LIMITATIONS' nyo sa isa't isa!. "Limitations", marahil kaya ayaw mo nag commitment dahil ayaw mo ng may limitations ka!?, ung nasasakal ka o baka hindi mo na magawa ung mga gus2 mong gawin tulad ng dati. Natural kc iba noong wala ka pang partner, pwede ka gumimik pati ung partner mo pwede rin at magagawa nyo ang mga gusto nyo!. Limitations in a way na,dapat hindi mo gawin dahil alam mong baka makasira sa relasyon nyong dalawa!. kapag committed kasi iba ang pakiramdam secure at assurance na ikaw lang sa mahl mo.

    Yung di sinasabi pero nararamdaman,
    Yung walang singsing pero kuntento,
    Yung walang sumpaan pero wlang iwanan,At
    Yung wlang titulo pero alam mong iyo?
    -->>Sounds like na parang iba rito. iba ang realidad sa parang kathang isip lamang o walang kasiguraduhan.

    Yung di sinasabi pero nararamdaman,
    -->> Ang pagmamahal nararadaman, tama ka dun! pero pano mo malalaman kung hindi nyo sasabihin sa isa't isa na mahal mo siya mahal ka nya?

    Yung walang singsing pero kuntento,
    -->> Pwede yun, pero diba? one of the sacrament of christianity is marriage and in marriage the proof or the symbol of your endless love is the ring? that is why it shapes round kc love has no boundaries!.

    Yung walang sumpaan pero wlang iwanan?
    -->>pwede, pero pano ka makakasigurado na walang iwanan ? ano yun pakiramdaman nalang kayo?.


    Yung wlang titulo pero alam mong iyo?
    --->> sa tingin mo ? bakit nagpapakasal ang magka relasyon?. pano kung nangaliwa ang isa sa kanila? kawawa naman ang isa diba kung walang pinanghahawakan na marriage contract? wala kang laban.. haha..




    IN GENERAL:

    We have a choice naman eh, kung dun ka masaya sa path mo ngaun, malamang hindi ka pa ready sa commitment yan ang nkkita ko at gusto mo muna siyang kilalaning maigi para hindi ka magkamali muli. Hindi kapa ready dahil ang mga di mo na enjoy dati nung kau pa ng bf mo ay ngayon mo lang nararanasan siguro.
    But if your looking for a lifetime partner commitment must be considered rather than not knowing where your paths will leads you.
    Para yang naghihintay ka ng train mula alam mo darating cya ng 10:00 pm. to 5:00am pero hindi hindi mo talaga alam wala palang biyahe ng ganung oras.

    I understand your poin miss anonymous.. hehe. ;) ganyan din ako ngaun sa situation mo.

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