Friday, July 11, 2008

What Makes a Good Relationship?

hen people first experience falling in love, it often starts as attraction. Sexual feelings can also be a part of this attraction. People at this stage might daydream about a crush or a new BF or GF. They may doodle the person's name or think of their special someone while a particular song is playing.

It sure feels like love. But it's not love yet. It hasn't had time to grow into emotional closeness that's needed for love. Because feelings of attraction and sexual interest are new, and they're directed at a person we want a relationship with, it's not surprising we confuse attraction with love. It's all so intense, exciting, and hard to sort out.

The crazy intensity of the passion and attraction phase fades a bit after a while. Like putting all our energy into winning a race, this kind of passion is exhilarating but far too extreme to keep going forever. If a relationship is destined to last, this is where closeness enters the picture. The early passionate intensity may fade, but a deep affectionate attachment takes its place.

Some of the ways people grow close are:

  • Learning to give and receive. A healthy relationship is about both people, not how much one person can get from (or give to) the other.
  • Revealing feelings. A supportive, caring relationship allows people to reveal detail about themselves — their likes and dislikes, dreams and worries, proud moments, disappointments, fears, and weaknesses.
  • Listening and supporting. When two people care, they offer support when the other person is feeling vulnerable or afraid. They don't put down or insult their partner, even when they disagree.

Giving, receiving, revealing, and supporting is a back-and-forth process: One person shares a detail, then the other person shares something, then the first person feels safe enough to share a little more. In this way, the relationship gradually builds into a place of openness, trust, and support where each partner knows that the other will be there when times are tough. Both feel liked and accepted for who they are.

The passion and attraction the couple felt early on in the relationship isn't lost. It's just different. In healthy, long-term relationships, couples often find that intense passion comes and goes at different times. But the closeness is always there.

Sometimes, though, a couple loses the closeness. For adults, relationships can sometimes turn into what experts call "empty love." This means that the closeness and attraction they once felt is gone, and they stay together only out of commitment. This is not usually a problem for teens, but there are other reasons why relationships end.

Why Do Relationships End? -my point of view

I think Love is delicate. It needs to be cared for and nurtured if it is to last through time. Just like friendships, relationships can fail if they are not given enough time and attention. This is one reason why some couples might not last perhaps someone is so busy with school, extracurriculars, and work that he or she has less time for a relationship. Or maybe a relationship ends when people graduate and go to separate colleges or take different career paths.

Busyness is the great enemy of relationships.

If you give your time to something it means that it give more importance to you.

For sometimes, a couple may grow apart because the things that are important to them change as they mature. Or maybe each person wants different things out of the relationship they expect on their partner and if this expectations not meet they seek for it. Sometimes both people realize the relationship has reached its end; sometimes one person feels this way when the other does not.

If you started to feel cold in your relationship try to analyze what are the reasons, problems, and from there if you want to save it talk to each other and decide. I guess the reason why a person gets cold, because she/he feels alone even your there for her/him. Go and let her/him feel your affection. Just don't say I love you in text or chat. Action speak louder than words.

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